Jane Shut Down the Fighting
"Giving's not a virtue, And taking isn't wrong, It's all about the who and what, The music of your song."
I was too weak with COVID this week to think of anything good to say. This is a song about conflict in relationships — ostensibly romantic, but really all sorts. The main idea was composed on the same day in March 2022 as Our Intermittent Life —they are definitely siblings. I think of When the Winds Break as their cousin, composed three days earlier. I like this song.
Jane shut down the fighting, Says it's always a bad time. I've felt much more distant since – I don't think love is always fine. She denigrates herself, Censors all without a sound, But I can hear the words she shelved, To maintain this lie of hers. Not lie in the malevolent sense, She's full of care, much more than I, More the kind that says, It's okay darling, it doesn't matter, never mind. A lie that she is trapped within, A doctrine wearing ever-thin. Is it love to show compliance, With a lover's little wishes, Or do all such fraught alliances, Mask the real issues? So she shrinks into herself, And as I do, to mine. We're not strong enough yet, To give love while dying inside. Perhaps we're weak, Though self-absorbed is true, But to give up and take a stand, Is often worse than being reduced. So this adult child from an old country, A place, if not a home, Searching for love, gives up too much, And now can't take it, though he's grown. Is it love to show compliance, With a lover's little wishes, Or do all such fraught alliances, Come unstuck over the dishes? Giving's not a virtue, And taking isn't wrong, It's all about the who and what, The music of your song. Is it love to show compliance, With a lover's little wishes, Or do all such fraught alliances, Mask the real issues? I've no idea, maybe I'm fucked, But if I had to guess, I'd say, When we lie to stem the flow of pain, We limit joy, not grief or shame.